Kit ♥ღ♥ Darwood

Kit Darwood
30th June 1983 - 7th October 2006
Aged 23 always
From Stanley...Durham

Beloved Son of Deborah & Frank...
..the light of our lives x
Loving Husband of Sara
SuperDad to Lexus & Leah
Much loved Brother to...
Mark, Ryan & Kyle
Adored Grandson of Margaret & Frank
And the late Rosemary & Norman

He could see no more light...


Kit was...our joker...our rock...our champion.
Kit has more people who love him than he could ever know. More people who miss him than he could
contemplate.
His booming voice...his pranks...his loving ways...his fierce loyalty and his fabulous sense of
humour.
Life is so very dark and dull without him.
Missed forever Kitty!

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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Found on the internet
From the heart of a bereaved Mother...
This is Now by Unknown

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realise someone important is missing from
all the important events in your family's life.

Normal for me is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays Christmas,
Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine's Day, July 4th and Easter.

Normal is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or
birthday party...yet feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell the flowers and see the
casket.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you
just don't like to sit through anything.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head
constantly.

Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go
away.

Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is
deafening.

Normal is staring at every child who looks like he is my child's age. And then thinking of the age
he would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine
it, because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind,
because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity,
and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realising it has become
a part of my "normal".

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honour your child's memory and his
birthday and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fits the occasion.
Happy Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my child loved.
Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is having some people afraid to mention my child.

Normal is making sure that others remember him.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to
grieve our loss forever.

Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not
better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have
lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it
doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on
it.

Normal is realising I do cry everyday.

Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you
know they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the
loss of your child.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost
a child.

Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in England, Australia, Canada, the
Netherlands and all over the USA, but yet never having met any of them face to face.

Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our
children and our new lives.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because..." I love
God, I know that my child is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why
healthy children were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this
grieving mother.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there
is any food.

Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have four children or three, because
you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my child is in heaven. And
yet when you say you have three children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have
betrayed your child.

Normal is avoiding McDonald's and Burger King playgrounds because of happy children that break your
heart when you see them.

Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a
God.

Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.

And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that
everyone around you will think that you are "normal".
♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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We wish that we could say,
We're going to see our Kit today
To hear his voice and see his smile
To sit and talk with him for a while.
The hardest thing in life to bear
Is to want our boy and he's not there.

♥ღ♥ Our Beautiful Son ♥ღ♥

Once upon a time
a beautiful son was born, unto his Dad and me;
He brought so much joy and love
till his death at the age of only twenty three.

Our hearts remain so heavy
since that day when he died;
We know it’s weighted with more tears
that we have yet to cry.

Outwardly, we're moving along;
you say, 'That’s good to see'.
But you don’t know about the quiet times
when we're alone, his Dad and me.

We think about his passing,
how we’ll never be the same
Sorrow is a part of our lives,
it enters daily as we whisper Kits name.

Oh yes, we smile, we laugh,
and we go about our work each day
As we carry on with our lives
in a façade kind of way.

For behind the outward appearance,
way down deep inside our souls
Is the pain that’s with us always,
for the child we long to hold.

One day passes another,
the years will continue on
We’ve had days of smiles and laughter,
but in our silence it’s him we reflect on.

We're not the people that we once knew,
We changed almost two years ago,
When life showed us such suffering
and pain no one should ever know.

Yes, once upon a time,
a beautiful son was born, unto his Dad and me,
And we thought we’d live happily ever after,
but we can’t...
For what we want most can never, ever be.

★ •:*★ Love from Mam ★ •:*★
Kit stole my heart from the first moment I placed him on my chest, when he was born, until the last
agonising time I held him in the Chapel of Rest.
He has taken the 'completeness' of my heart with him and one day I expect him to give it back to me
and make me whole again.
I have asked his Grandma and Grandad to look after him until that glorious day.
For eternity I've got your face painted on my heart; scrawled upon my soul; etched upon my memory.
I love you my darlin' son, sleep tight.
★ •:*★ ★ •:*★ ★ •:*★ ★ •:*★ ★ •:*★ ★ •:*★

♥ Important To Me! ♥

I'm so lost without you
My life is blown apart.
Perhaps if I just tell you
Of what I feel in my heart.
Raw grief has gnawed a hole
That cannot ever be filled.
And no-one knows my prayers at night
Never can be fulfilled
The love I have for you
Til the day I breathe my last
Overflows with tears and
Memories of the past.
Evermore your Mam.

By DJD


Nightmare 30-6-09

When I awake every morning you aren’t there
I can’t give you a cuddle or ruffle your hair.
My days of joy are over
I have a broken heart
Guilt and pain take root
Agony now starts
I live this awful nightmare
Every day when I awake
I have to feel your loss
With every breath I take
Memories sustain me
But cause me constant pain
I live this awful nightmare
Until we meet again

By DJD

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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Music always played an important part in Kits life...as well as the rest of our family's. There were
many, many precious songs to choose from to put on here but we are allowed only 3 and have chosen
these for the following reasons.

Kits Music on GTS:

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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[We all hoped that he had the time of his life.
Chosen by Kits younger brothers, Ryan & Kyle, to be played at the Crem.]

TIME OF YOUR LIFE BY GREEN DAY.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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[Played at Kits funeral on Friday 13th October 2006
Kit would have liked that...his funeral on Friday 13th
Chosen by Kits older brother Mark...who remembers Kit singing this at the top of his voice...getting
the words wrong but thoroughly into the song.]

HURT BY JOHNNY CASH.

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that\'s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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[Kit and I loved this next song and used to dance wildly round the room whenever it came on. I
remember dancing, with him, in the aisles of a supermarket to this once.
He always sang 'Brown eyed girl' to me and I sang 'Brown eyed boy' to him.]

BROWN EYED GIRL BY VAN MORRISON.

Hey where did we go, days when the rains came?
Down in the hollow, playin' a new game
Laughing and a running hey, hey!
Skipping and a jumping
In the misty morning fog with our hearts a thumpin' and you ...
My brown eyed girl
You, my brown eyed girl

Whatever happened Tuesday and so slow?
Going down the old mine with a transistor radio
Standing in the sunlight laughing, hiding behind a rainbo's wall
Slipping and sliding, all along the water fall, with you ...
My brown eyed girl
You, my brown eyed girl

Do you remember when we used to sing?
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
... la te da

So hard to find my way, now that I\'m all on my own
I saw you just the other day, my, how you have grown!
Cast my memory back there, Lord,
sometimes I\'m overcome thinking \'bout
laughing and a running hey, hey!
Behind the stadium with you ...
My brown eyed girl
You, my brown eyed girl

Do you remember when we used to sing?
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
... la te da

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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I'll miss you every moment of every single day of my life...my handsome brown-eyed boy!
Always and forever...
Mam xx

♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥♥ღ♥â
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Our whole family is so lonely without our golden boy to make us smile.
He was unique...he is irreplaceable...he is our Kit.

Luv you soo much too Kit!